Here’s a funny story about what we each consider valuable.

My stag-party gift in 1980 was a beautiful Renwick leather briefcase. Renwick was a maker of high-quality leather goods very similar in design and build to Hartmann. This was a tan colored, hard-sided briefcase of a style popular in the ’80’s, although you don’t see them very much nowadays. I used that briefcase for some 20 years, and frankly it looked like hell near the end. It was badly scuffed, stained, and weather-beaten. I had reached a point where I was quite embarrassed to carry it and looked forward to its replacement.

One day I was checking into the Toronto Hilton. In the line immediately behind me were two Asian gentlemen, also waiting to check in. I put my briefcase on the counter to get my wallet, and remember once again making a mental note to myself to replace this nasty looking bag asap. After checking in I headed to the elevator and by the time it arrived, the two Asian gents were able to embark at the same time. As soon as the elevator began to move I noticed them eying my briefcase and speaking excitedly to each other in their own language. Eventually, one of them mustered up the nerve to say to me in broken English: “Ahh…that is a very beautiful briefcase…would you consider selling it for $500?”.

Such is the nature of human nature, that once someone wants what you have, even if you don’t want it anymore, it suddenly acquires new value. I smiled at them and said: “No thank you, I couldn’t part with it”. STUPID!, as my business partner Margarita would say.

I first visited the Alden factory in 1985, when the company agreed to give my partner and me a dealership for Canada. I just found this amazing video from earlier this year. You’re gonna love it. Listen to the opening remark about the 405 “Indy” boot (pictured below). A fascinating story in its own right. Video, here.

Cordovan is both a color (dark reddish brown) and a leather type. The leather is horsehide from a specific part of the horse, the “shell” or butt area. I suppose animal-rights activists might well call those who wear genuine shell cordovan shoes, “horses-asses”, without being too far off the mark! It is generally considered the finest leather for making shoes as well as other accessories such as belts, because of its texture, suppleness, and durability. Fine men’s shoes made from cordovan leather may last several generations with proper care.

Genuine shell cordovan, when used for a traditional welted shoe (Old-men’s shoes as I like to call them) provides an unparalleled level of lateral support and stability when walking. Your feet  feel firmly planted onto the earth. And as good as they look new, they look even better as they age; the leather acquires a deep patina and since it is quite oily is virtually self-polishing. A quick few brush strokes every few wearings and they look awesome once again. There’s a whole web site dedicated to this leather, here.

America has only one tannery left that specializes in working with genuine shell cordovan, the Horween Leather Company of Chicago. They’ve been in business since 1905. They make all the cordovan for Alden and for some of the other shoe-makers that can still work this amazing material.

If you live in New York or California you are blessed with the highest density of stores selling Aldens as well as a few other world-famous men’s shoe brands. If you live near San Fransisco you are in Heaven in more ways than one; there is an Alden Store in that beautiful city.

This is going to sound kooky, but if you live near an Alden store it is worth the trip to see these shoes as if you were visiting an art gallery. Yeah…..that good!

Hey, as I get older, I come to realize that those “old men” knew a thing or two about comfort and value, in a time before marketing managed to convince us that we should throw everything out every couple of years and fuel the money-coffers of the corporations.

My first pair of Alden shoes…the Cordovan Wing Tip Bal Oxford

Little known fact….my first entrepreneurial business venture was in the high-end men’s shoe business. I was a corporate honcho at the time, but had strong entrepreneurial urges. One of my closest friends in those days was straight out of GQ; a very snazzy dresser with a fetish for hand-crafted shoes and clothing. He introduced me to Alden shoes of Massachusetts, which was at that time one of the premiere makers of traditional “Goodyear welted” shoes for men. In the mid-’80’s there were three or four (Johnston & Murphy, Allen Edmonds, and maybe one more). Today, only Alden remains. Fortunately, by staying close to its traditional values it has survived and flourished as the finest maker of men’s shoes in America and one of the best in the world (the other brands still exist but they are all “offshore” and leverage their “brand”).

My friend convinced me to start a sideline business together, selling bespoke custom-made shirts, ties, and shoes under our own brand. Our “shtick” was to sell these to like-minded individuals in their own homes, in the evening (after our own business hours, of course) or on week-ends. We had one Helluva chutzpah in those days, actually convincing some of the greatest names in men’s clothing and shoes to make private label stuff for us (and for most of them, we were their only private label account ever. How’s that for balls?).

A couple of funny stories. I occasionally used to pick up my 6 year-old daughter from school. I drove a new Alfa Romeo sedan and was impeccably dressed with tailor-made suits, shirts, and absolutely gorgeous shoes. My daughter would see me receive shoe inventory at home, and would observe me sorting the orders and loading them into my car for delivery in the evening. One day at her school, each of the children was asked to stand up and tell the class what their father did for a living. My daughter’s answer: “My Dad is a shoemaker”. I’m sure the teachers must have had a dramatically different view of shoe-making as a profession after that!

The second story. I used to travel extensively to Europe and the Far East in those days….probably six times a year. I had never been stopped in an airport by anyone before I started wearing those Aldens….but no joke….a couple of strangers would routinely stop me on every trip and excitedly ask: “Are those Aldens?”. How weird is that? But Aldens were a cult shoe in those days (perhaps even more so today with the demise of most of the world’s great shoemakers).

Anyway, I’ve never been more comfortable than when wearing a fine pair of hand-crafted shoes that fit properly. My partner used to say: “A man should invest the most money in the two things in which he will spend the greatest time…his mattress and his shoes”. And he was right. Great shoes are a terrific investment. I have every pair of Alden, Church, and Dack’s shoes that I ever bought and they are all in excellent condition. Over time they have come to fit like a glove and are supremely comfortable. They also look great. They have paid for themselves many times over. There are three simple rules to making great shoes last for generations:

1. Never wear them two days in a row.

2. Always keep them in cedar shoe-trees so they can dry properly in their original shape.

3. Occasionally give them a good polishing (I hate doing it so usually reserve that for a professional shine at the airport).

Most people are astonished when I mention what a good pair of shoes should cost: $300-$500. They are used to $59 specials from Payless, and the Timberland knock-offs from the outlet stores that have become the benchmark for men’s shoes. Some comment that they don’t want their shoes to last a long time as they prefer to always be in style. Others are convinced that traditional men’s shoes are no longer in style. I disagree. Visit GQ’s web site and go to the Style section. Type in “Shoes”. You will see that traditional leather brogues, wing-tips, and loafers are still the benchmark shoes for men of style (as opposed to fashion).

If you ever have a chance to buy a pair of Alden shoes……don’t hesitate. Treat yourself to a life-altering experience of comfort and an appreciation for what hand-crafted tradition stands for.

Sadly, back surgery three years ago (three ruptured disks as a result of many sports injuries) now force me to wear heavily padded shoes that take the weight off my spine. Even there however, there are some great quality choices. Ecco, Mephisto, and others make excellent “modern” shoes…they still cost $200-$400 though. But I still try to wear my Aldens as often as I can when my back feels good (most of the time these days fortunately). And hopefully, I will add a new pair ro my collection shortly:

Object of desire – the Chukka boot – a shell cordovan (horsehide) version of the iconic ’60’s desert boot

My second post-Florida shave was once again with the Tabula Rasa shave cream/soap (not sure what it is really – it is either a very thick cream or a soft soap). I find myself absolutely falling in love with this stuff, ever since I learned how to actually use it properly! And this was a product I really never liked in past reviews. But the secret was to first beat the Hell out of it by scrubbing it in your cupped palm and forcing it to take up water – something it really doesn’t like to do. Once properly charged though, it is the finest shave cream I have ever used, most notably for the way it leaves my skin feeling after the shave. The “unscented” smell is actually very earthy and vegetal. It provides an excellent buffer to a sharp blade and produces a very lubricating lather for 3-4 passes.

During my two-week Florida visit I had the opportunity to drive a brand new Buick Lucerne full-size luxury sedan (reserved by the Sasquatch for reasons as yet mysterious…a van would have been far more practical). When we arrived at our rental condo, I was assigned a very tight parking space between two massive pillars. I put the car into reverse and to my horror, the rear view of the vehicle disappeared as I looked into the side-view mirrors, which had both tipped automatically to show me the ground! Backing up became impossible. As soon as I put the car into Drive, the mirrors tipped back up to their normal position. Put it into Reverse and the mirrors once again tipped down to show the ground. What the Hell??!!

There was no switch to kill this abomination and in fact I could think of no possible function it might play. While everyone went upstairs, I stayed in the car trying to figure this insanity out. I started playing with the various menus on the on-board computer and eventually found a function called “Parking Assist”. I noticed that it was marked “On” so I switched it “Off”. Voila! I put the car into Reverse and the mirrors stayed put.

Then it hit me! The purpose of this insane feature is to help the short, the feeble-minded, or old coots, see the approaching sidewalk as they try to parallel park. But in so doing, they can’t see what’s behind them. There is therefore, a “Beep” that alerts them that they are getting close to something behind them. But they still can’t see what is approaching their car from the opposite-to-sidewalk side, since both mirrors tilt down simultaneously!

Adding insult to injury is that there is no way to turn this damned thing off without going into the computer menus. Hey, car makers….if the person can’t park and needs Parking Assist, he/she probably can’t figure out the computer either!!! At least put a switch on the dash for easily turning the thing off so that you can alternately back up and see the sidewalk.

Now, I won’t use this post as an indictment of American cars since I’m not sure that this particular feature isn’t available on European or Japanese cars. But for Heaven’s sake, how do designers decide to put these kinds of features into cars? Do they figure that a certain model is positioned to a certain age group and then bring in a focus group of 80-somethings to tell them their wish-list of features?

Here’s a simpler solution. Learn to drive and park! And if you can’t…….don’t!!!!!

To be handed to my children as well as posted on the fridge door:

“Aging is like alcoholism: By the time you’re impaired, it’s too late…you no longer have the judgment to know that you’re impaired!

I have given you this letter because I know that you love me and I trust you. Just to be sure though….I’ve left all my money to the SPCA.

If you see me turn into a doddering old fool who runs red lights, needs “Parking Assist” to see the sidewalk as I’m parking the car, or slows down to get onto the highway, PLEASE…..show me this letter and ever so gently tell me to STOP AND GET THE F*^K OFF THE ROAD!! If need be, take away the keys, sabotage the ignition, whatever it takes to keep me from endangering the lives of others.

You will need to show me this letter and convince me that I actually did write it, however. That may be a challenge!

Love

Dad”

P.S. My favorite joke goes like this: “I want to die like my grandfather….at 94 years old…peacefully in his sleep….and not like the screaming passengers in his car at the time!”.

I envy sink-shavers. They can ply their craft just about anywhere there is a sink and a small ledge on which to perch their accoutrement. Shower-shavers on the other hand are doomed to living two lives: The gourmet when at home, and the schlub when traveling.

The shower is a special place for shaving and once experienced, very hard to leave. The beard softens from the intense and prolonged contact with warm water; there is no mess to clean up afterwards, just a quick rinse of the various surfaces. And who cares if soap and water splashes onto extraneous body parts…hey, I’m in the shower! But all this wonder is predicated on having an appropriate shower stall, something I’ve written about extensively here, and here. And that’s ultimately the rub: Few hotels, rental condos, and even private homes, are properly equipped for shower shaving.

Of course, the shower and the sink shaver face some common problems when traveling. DE blades aren’t allowed on carry-on luggage, so the gourmet shaver is doomed to checking in his bags or having to buy blades when he has landed. And the minimalist requirement for travel liquids and gels (must fit into a tiny bag) restricts the pleasurable substances one might want to bring aboard with carry-on bags. The hassle of trying to download favored soaps and creams into small Nalgene containers mitigates the later pleasure derived when actually shaving. And unless one is traveling alone, both the shower and sink shaver must remain sensitive to the needs of others waiting to use the bathroom with crossed legs!

All this to say that I long ago decided that it’s O.K. to live two lives. When traveling I use a Fusion razor (horrible, I know!) and a small tube of some nondescript brushless shave cream. The shave becomes a quick in-and-out, purely functional affair. There is however, a silver lining to the travel cloud: The Return Shave. Yin and Yang. One can only know white if one also knows black. Mmmmmmm! Yesterday’s first “real” shave in two weeks was a marvel of rediscovery and wonder. Two weeks on the Fusion had left me smooth yet unhappy. The first post-Florida gourmet shave returned my good humor. That, and being able to sleep in my own bed!

I only ever heard of two kinds of Spot….one was a dog who ran with Dick and Jane….and the other usually manged to find its way onto my best tie. But there’s a new kind of Spot and it seems like a pretty cool device, especially if you hike, ski, sail, or drive off-road. In fact, it sounds like something that might be good to have on you at all times, just in case of any emergency where there are no other people around.

I’m seriously going to look into getting one. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”.

Many of you will be familiar with the term “nanny state”, which refers to what many see as excessive, institutionalized government intervention for the protection (hence the term “nanny”) of the people against perceived threats, especially in the areas of health, culture, and the environment, among others.

Strangely enough, while the nanny state operates at a macro level, its effects appear to funnel down to the individual level, a condition I call the “ninny state”. This condition appears to intensify as one gets older (perhaps as the prospect of death looms larger), and also appears to be more prevalent in women (based on my purely personal observations, YMMV), perhaps because they are by nature more caring, protective, and nurturing (whew!, talk about the ninny state…just the fact that I felt compelled to qualify my statement is a perfect example).

The ninny state is characterized by an excessive preoccupation with doing things correctly. Here are a few examples:

“Oh my, what a beautiful sunset! Be careful not to look at the sun too long, it might damage your retinas. We should have brought extra-dark sunglasses”.

“I don’t think we can just wander into the hotel lobby like that….isn’t it just for paying guests?”.

“Make sure to put on lots of sunscreen, skin cancer you know!”.

“I don’t eat large fish…too much mercury”.

“Close the balcony door, the air-conditioning is on and you’ll waste electricity” [It was open for all of 30 seconds as I tried to get a whiff of fresh air, Heaven forbid]

“I love the house, but there’s no way I’d live anywhere near there, too many power lines nearby”

“Isn’t this a great cereal…loaded with Omega-3’s and fiber”.

Men, by and large, appear to be more resistant to the ninny state, fueled perhaps by an innate sense of devil-may-care, poor judgment, alcohol, machismo, and other qualities antithetical to the very nature of the ninny state.

My own philosophy on the topic is: “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission….now leave me the f%*k alone”.