I wish I could give credit for this one, but don’t know the original author…it wasn’t me:
- A new supermarket opened near my house.
- It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
- Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
- When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of freshly mowed hay.
- In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
- The sound of a breeze in the trees and water in a babbling brook welcomes you to the fish display.
- When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
- The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & chocolate chip cookies.
- I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
In the same vein….
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is really tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
By: Your Cousin George on August 26, 2008
at 4:05 am