Yesterday I wrote about the giving of opinions, solicited or unsolicited. Today I’d like to address a particular sub-category of opinion, that of the “professional opinion”. Frankly when friends ask my personal opinion I don’t really care if they take it or not. Certainly if they do take it, I’m gratified to have been able to help. If not, hey, who says I was right in the first place….it was just my opinion, and given freely it was worth about what it cost.
On the other hand, when it comes to areas in which I have expertise and earn my living (Psychology, organizational design, leadership, Human Resources management, etc.), few things piss me off more than friends who ask for professional advice (for free of course) and then do the exact opposite or take the advice of a friend or relative who has no qualification in the subject matter. Its not their fault of course…the fault is mine. People rarely respect what they don’t pay for, and free advice, professional or not, is worth exactly what they paid for it.
To me it seems natural that if I want a piece of professional advice and if I respect the person I am asking, then it is extremely likely that I will take that advice…otherwise I wouldn’t have asked. For example, 25 years ago I wanted to buy a stereo system. My friend John was a long-time audiophile and equipment freak. I asked him what I should get and after the appropriate triage questions such as “what are you hoping to accomplish with this system; how much do you want to spend; how important is style, etc.?” he recommended Bang & Olufsen. Extremely expensive but unbeatable for the combination of style, performance, and resale value he explained. I looked no further and bought a B&O basic system, which gave me 20 years of wonderful sound and visual appeal, and which I sold for a handsome sum five years ago when we remodeled the house and had no room for it.
All this to say that if you are fishing for free professional advice from friends, realize that it carries some emotional if not financial obligations. When a friend who earns his living at a certain craft gives you “free” advice (which you solicited) it is really a financial gift which you should either respect or STOP ASKING FOR IT! And for my part, I promise to no longer ever offer professional advice to friends, but rather to steer them in the direction of a paid coleague with whom they can have a more transparent and transactional relationship.
