Yeah, right!, I can just hear Mr. Italo with his thick mane of hair. But let me rephrase that: Bald may not be beautiful, but efforts to mask bald are almost universally ugly and ridiculous, thereby making bald, at least by default, somewhat more beautiful than the alternative.

I came to this realization today as I sat in my airline seat watching all the other passengers walk past me down the aisle. There were many men with full heads of hair in various degrees of coiferous elegance ranging from, “I have hair so I don’t give a shit how it looks”, to a fastidiousness that comes from large sums spent on expensive barbers.

But a good percentage of my fellow male passengers were balding but not yet as inflegranto as me. Almost universally, these pathetic souls were in various stages of profound denial, using a vast armamentarium of techniques to hide their balding pate and thinning hair supply.

One guy had had a transplant that had not taken well, and you could see a perfectly straight row of follicles low on his forehead in a very unnatural array. The rest of his hair was terribly thinning up front and he had taken to combing the back forwards to try to hide it. It looked horrific and I wondered who he thought he was fooling. What did he see in the mirror each morning? Was he like the 80 pound anorexic who looks in the mirror and sees a fat person?

Most others were also engaged in less offensive versions of the comb-over, looking almost equally pathetic.

I started balding in my early 20’s, as is my son. For about ten years I continued to comb my hair in it’s usual way, until one windy morning I realized that I too was inadvertently resorting to a comb-over. Fortunately, this realization coincided with Bruce Willis’ coming out as “Bald and proud of it”, with his trademark response of going super short at the barbershop. This has remained my strategy since that time too, and I’m not sure it looks beautiful, but it sure feels good. It also takes away any identification with one’s hair and allows you to focus on building up other parts of your personna with which to identify, such as intelligence, education, charm, and a sparkling personality.