When I was a kid, I was disgusted by the site of old men on the city bus, picking their noses or sticking their fingers in their ears. Gross! Of course, that was before I learned about “hair migration”, the phenomenon whereby a man begins to lose the hair on his head while it appears to mysteriously migrate to other parts of his body, most notably, the nose and ears.

Ii is excruciating torture to have hair growing inside your ear canal, and bloody unsightly to have them sticking out of your nasal passages. I had lunch last year with a Ph.D. researcher at one of Canada’s leading science institutions. His nasal hair was growing a full inch out of his nostrils, and he had interwoven it to his mustache. My immediate thought was, “How does this guy’s wife let him leave the house looking like that?”.

Ladies reading this may be reaching for the barf-bag, but frankly it’s a topic that gets no air-time. I think that I have successfully managed to keep my hair migration under control, due largely to the use of many different trimmers, all with varying levels of success and comfort.

But today I acquired what is by far the best of them all (and I have owned them ALL). The Philips Nose, Ear, and Eyebrow Trimmer is the luxury-car equivalent of a Rolls-Royce. Completely waterproof, with a powerful and quite motor, and amazingly effective and safe trimmer mechanism, it is by far the one to get.

Stop the migration, I say!